I lost someone, who was so young when he died, that I had never even imagined living with out him, as it was pretty much inconceivable. But I am guessing it was even worse for his little sisters and his mum.
I cried today. For a full 20 minutes all by my little lonesome in the car. I don't exactly know what started me off, but then I was thinking, memories just aren't enough to keep someone fresh in your mind, to remember what you really thought of them and what they really looked like and how they spoke to you and to others. I remember that he was nice to everyone, I remember his little quirks, like how he used to be able to readily able to pull apart electronic gadgets, with the full intention of putting them back together, but somehow they never quite got put back together. I remember that he was never afraid to hug, and I remember his reliance on computers, and maybe thats enough, maybe all you need to keep them close to you forever is those happy memories that had always seemed to make up such a large part of their personality at the time. But then you realise that they are never coming back, thats when you know that memories just aren't enough you feel like you need to give them a hug one more time, you need to send them a text and tell them something important, or maybe you just need them to know you love them.
It's probably one of the hardest things to go through, to lose someone and to wish that you could have them back, but to know that you can't. So I dedicate this post to all the people out there who miss someone severely and forever. I empathise with you, but I can't sympathise with you. Sorry.
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